LATEST SHAYARI, JOKES AND SMS: ENGLISH JOKES

Showing posts with label ENGLISH JOKES. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Aashiqui 3 - Facebook Love Song | Facebook Jokes

!!!!!!!!!!FACEBOOK LOVE SONG!!!!!!!!!!

Aashiqui 3...
Hum offline ab reh nahi sakte
Tere bina kya status mera
Tujhse BLOCK kabhi ho jayenge to...
Khud se hi ho jaayenge Khafa
Kyonki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi.. ab tum hi ho😇
Status bhi;
mera Dp bhi;
Mera update📋 bhi...
ab tum hi ho
Tere mera rishta hai kaisa
Ek pal offline gawara nahin
Tere liye online😀 hain rehte....
Tujhko diya mera waqt sabhi⌚⏰
Koi lamha mera na ho WHATSAPP bina
Har post mein naam teraaa 🔤
Kyonki tum hi ho😎
Ab tum hi ho😋
Zindagi ab tum hi ho😑
Morning bhi...
mera noon bhi...
meri evening bhi
Ab tum hi ho..
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
Dont Enjoy this alone...
This is Facebook Love song...!!!Keep Share N Like Us!!!
😂😂😂😂....

WHATSAPP JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES ENGLISH SMS FUNNY JOKES JOKES SMS WHATSAPP JOKES WHATSAPP SMS

How to get rid of dark circles near ur eyes...

1) Open Whats App
2) Go to settings
3) Deactivate your account

😜😉😄

How To Call An urgent Family Meeting In 3 Easy Steps:
1. Go to the Wi Fi router
2. Turn it Off
3. Wait in that Room !!😄😄😄

👦👈Normal Photo
👱👈Selfie
🌚👈 Aadhar Card
🌑👈 Aadhar Card Xerox

😜😜😜😜😂😂😂😂

Sunday, November 29, 2015

ENGINEER JOKES

ENGINEER JOKES ENGLISH JOKES JOKES

Ek Bar Engineering Ke Sabhi Professores Ko Ek Plane Mein Bithaya Gaya..
Fir Announce Kiya Gaya Ki Ye Plane Apke Students Ne Bnaya Hai...
Sab Professors Utar Gaye Par Principal Baithe Rahe...
Logo Ne Pucha Aapko Darr Nahi Lgta?
Principle: Muje Apne Studnts Par Pura Bharosa Hai...
..
..
Ye Start Hi Nahi Hoga!!

Engineer Jokes | Engineering Ke Student Ne Hostel Se Apne Father Ko Letter Likha

ENGINEER JOKES ENGLISH JOKES JOKES

Ek Engineering Ke Student
Ne Hostel Se Apne Father
Ko Letter Likha
No Money,
No Fun,
Your Son.
.
Jawab Aaya
.
How Sad,
Very Bad,
Your Dad.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

SCHOOL/COLLEGE JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES JOKES SCHOOL/COLLEGE JOKES

LECTURE ME MASTI THI...
HAMARI BHI KUCH HASTI THI...
TEACHER KA SAHARA THA DIL YE AAWARA THA...
KAHAN AA GAYE IS DEGREE KI AAFAT MEIN YAAR...
WO SCHOOL HI KITNA PAYARA THA...!!

TEACHER/STUDENT JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES JOKES TEACHER/STUDENT JOKES

A Good Teacher Is Who Tells To Study Hard...
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But,
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A Best Teacher Is Who Stands Outside The Examination Hall N Shouts.
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"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE APNI APNI PARCHI CHUPA LO...!!!"

Monday, November 16, 2015

GANDHI JAYANTI JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES GANDHI JAYANTI JOKES JOKES

Daughter: Mom aaj Ek ladke ne mere gal pe kiss kiya..!!

Mom: Tune usko chata mara ya nahi..!!
..
..
Daughter: Mujhe achanak Gandhiji yaad agaye
Aur maine dusra gal agge kar diya…

Happy Gandhi Jayanti!!!

GANDHI JAYANTI JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES GANDHI JAYANTI JOKES JOKES

2nd Oct is ‘Dry Day’ in India..
Now it is also cleaning..
‘Swacch Bharat Day’ as well..
So now it will be called..

Dry Cleaning Day!!!

FUNNY JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES FUNNY JOKES JOKES

Ek Aadmi Ne 98.3 Fm Radio Pe Phone Kiya

Man : Mujhe S.g. Road Pe Ek Purse Mila Hai,
Jisme 15000 Cash.
Ek Credit Card Aur
Pallavi Mishra Ke Naam Ka Id Mila Hai.

Radio Jockey : Wah... Aap Kitne Imaandaar Hain.
Kya Aap Unhe Wo Purse Waapis Karna Chahenge.???

Man : Nahi!!

Main Chahta Hu Ki Pallavi Mishra Ke Liye,
Ek Dard Bhara Song Ho Jaaye.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

TOP 100 WHATSAPP AND FACEBOOK STATUS II NOVEMBER 2015

ENGLISH JOKES ENGLISH SHAYARI ENGLISH SMS HINDI JOKES HINDI SHAYARI HINDI SMS JOKES SHAYARI SMS

Mai har kisi k liye apne aap ko accha sabit nhi kr skta ....Lekin mai un ke liye BEHATREEN hu , Jo mujhe Samajhte hai :(
अपनी दोस्ती का बस इतना सा असूल है, जो तू कुबूल है.... तो तेरा सब कुछ कुबूल है...
мy ғavorιтe тнιng aвoυт ѕcнool ιѕ ѕιттιng wιтн мy ғrιend & ғlιppιng тнroυgн a тeхтвooĸ poιnтιng aт υgly pιcтυreѕ & ѕayιng “тнaт’ѕ yoυ”.!! :D
When a problem arises, take a moment to listen to your heart!
I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
Life is like photography, You use the negatives to develop.
I am always right, Once i thought that I am wrong, But i was wrong.
मिल सके आसानी से , उसकी ख्वाहिश किसे है? ज़िद तो उसकी है ... जो मुकद्दर में लिखा ही नहीं...
जल जाते हैं मेरे अंदाज़ से मेरे दुश्मन क्यूंकि एक मुद्दत से मैंने न मोहब्बत बदली और न दोस्त बदले .!!.
Taaѕн ĸe paттo мe ιĸĸa aυr zııŋdgı мe ѕıĸĸa..+ ⇩⇩⇩⇩⇩⇩⇩⇩⇩ jaв cнalтa нa! ŋa тo Ðυŋıya ѕalaaм тнoĸтı нaı.....iii
मेरा वजूद नहीं किसी तलवार और तख़्त ओ ताज का मोहताज, में अपने हुनर और होंठो की हंसी से लोगो के दिल पे राज करता हैं....
Kehte Hein Waqt Se Pehle
Or Kismat Ke Bina
Kisi Ko Kuch Nahi Milta...Kam krke dheko.
Ham tere bina ab rhe nahi skte tere bina kya vjood mera.
Pyar or war mai sab jayaz hai bidu.
Why beautiful girls don't have brains.
Dil ko zubaan, aankhon ko sapne mil gaye
Meri zindagi chal toh rahi thi ... par tere aane se maine jeena shuru kar diya
Main marne ke liye nahi peeta ... peene ke liye marta hun.
mai apna chehra bhul skta hu but tumhara nahi.....
Tu naraz na raha kar,tujhe vaasta hai khuda ka,.......Ek terahi chehra khush dekhkar to hum apna gum bhulate hai.
Kitne anmol hote hain yeh yaadon ke rishte bhi........koi yaad na bhi kare, chahat fir bhi rehti hai..
Mohabbat ki aazmaish dede kar thak gaya hun ae khuda,...Kismat mein koi aisa likh de jo maut tak wafa kare..
If you can't convince them, Confuse them.
No one is busy in this world. Its all about priorities!
We don't have to be alike to be friends. We just have to care about each other!
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
आज का विचार: अगर परछाईयाँ कद से और बातें औकात से बड़ी होने लगे तो समझ लीजिये कि सूरज डूबने ही वाला है..!
दुकानें उसकी भी लुट जाती है अक्सर हमने देखा है...! . जो दिन भर में न जाने कितने ताले बेच देता है...!!
कोई ना दे हमें खुश रहने की दुआ, तो भी कोई बात नहीं वैसे भी हम खुशियाँ रखते नहीं, बाँट दिया करते है...!!!
कोई ना दे हमें खुश रहने की दुआ, तो भी कोई बात नहीं वैसे भी हम खुशियाँ रखते नहीं, बाँट दिया करते है...!!!
Dear time, more weekend please!
Not always "Available".. Try your Luck..
कैसे बनेगा अमीर वो हिसाब का कच्चा बूढा भिखारी, जो बस एक रुपये के बदले सिग्नल पे खड़ा बेशकीमती दुआए दे देता है।
If I trust you, then remember, My trust and your bones. Will get broken simultaneously. :D
छुपा लूंगा तुझे इसतरह से बाहों में;हवा भी गुज़रने के लिए इज़ाज़त मांगे;हो जाऊं तेरे इश्क़ में मदहोश इस तरह;कि होश भी वापस आने के इज़ाज़त मांगे.
Dusaro की अपेक्षा अगर आपको सफलता, यदि देर से मिले तो निराश नही होना चाहिये क्योँकि मक़ान बनने से ज्यादा समय महल बनने मेँ लगता है||
ऐसा जीवन जियो कि अगर कोई आपकी बुराई भी करे तो कोई उस पर विश्वास ना करे।
Do a bit for people who want to see you smile, they'll do everything to make you smile. :)
Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
हुकुमत वो ही करता है जिसका दिलो पर राज हो...!! वरना यूँ तो गली के मुर्गो के सर पे भी ताज होता है...!!
खोने की दहशत और पाने की चाहत न होती, तो ना ख़ुदा होता कोई और न इबादत होती .
जरूरत और चाहत में बहुत फ़र्क है... कमबख्त़ इसमे तालमेल बिठाते बिठाते ज़िन्दगी गुज़र जाती है !!!!
★ιѕнq кα đαѕтυя нι кυ¢н αιѕα h★ ★Jσ ιѕкσ jαη Ļєтα h★ ★ує ѕαĻα υѕι кι jααη Ļє Ļєтα н★
इश्क ओर दोस्ती मेरे दो जहान है,इश्क मेरी रुह, तो दोस्ती मेरा ईमान है,इश्क पर तो फिदा करदु अपनी पुरी जिंदगी,पर दोस्ती पर, मेरा इश्क भी कुर्बान है
Takleef to zindagi deti hai maut ko to log yuhi badnaam karte hai!!
tum kisi or se LOVE kar lo hame sudharne mai Time lagega... :-P
Hamne chor diya shoq-a-mohabat ka...varna tere shar ki khidkiyan to aaj bhi isare karti hai.
Sher mai hu mai tere..aake mujhe dhek to le.
ye sala pyar ho gya ki UPSC ka exam ho gya pass hi ho rha.
Babuji Exam se dar nahi lagta..slow internet se lagta hai.
per mai moch and slow internet connection aadmi ko kbhi aage badne nahi dete.
aql badam khane se nahi thokar khane se aati hai.
Yaaro Ki Mehfil Aise Jamai Jati Hai, Kholne Se Pehle Botal Hilai Jati Hai.
4 Botal vodak, kam mera roj ka.
Dhoka Deti Hain MasoOm ChehrOn KiChamAk AksAr .... !?!!?! .... Har KaanCh Kay TukrAy Ko HeEra Nahi KehtAy .... !
Plzzzz Call Me .... Whatsapp only When u don't expect reply from Me ...
уσυ cαn вє єνєяутнιng ιn lιғє вυт тнє ιмρσятαnт тнιng ιѕ тσ вє α gσσđ ρєяѕσn...
ι ηєvєя яєjєcτ αηγbσđγ ιη мγ Lιfє • βcσz • Gσσđ ρєяsση gιvє мє нαρριηєs... αηđ βαđ ρєяsση gινє мє Єχρєяιєηcє...
Friends r honest with each other, even if the truth hurts
When a river overflows, fishes eat ants... But, when water dries, the ants eat fish" Lifegives chance to everyone, just wait for ur turn...
You don't ask a girl if you can kiss her, you make yourself special enough for her that you kiss her and she says thank you...
Hats off to your courage if you've hurt the heart of someone who truly loved you, without expecting anything in return except love .
हाल तो पुंछ लू तेरा ...पर डरता हूँ आवाज़ से तेरी.......!! ज़ब ज़ब सुनी हैं .....कमबख्त मोहब्बत ही हुई हैं ....!!!
कोई ना दे हमें खुश रहने की दुआ, तो भी कोई बात नहीं वैसे भी हम खुशियाँ रखते नहीं, बाँट दिया करते है...iii
Whenever I find the key to success, somebody always changes the lock!!!
You know what hurts so much ? Its when someone made you feel special yesterday but makes you feel like you're a nobody today.!!
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
Itz Easy To Act As Loving , , To One Whom We Really Do Not Love . . But Itz Harder To Act As Not Loving To The One , ,Whom We Really Love !
मुकद्दर में लिखा के लाये हैं दर-ब-दर भटकना.. मौसम कोई भी हो परिंदे परेशान ही रहते हैं...
" बात " उन्हीं की होती है, जिनमें कोई " बात " होती है..!
वो भी आधी रात को निकलता है और मैं भी ...... फिर क्यों उसे "चाँद" और मुझे "आवारा" कहते हैं लोग .... ?
उसके हाथ की गिरिफ्त ढीली पड़ी तो महसूस हुआ यही वो जगह है जहाँ रास्ता बदलना है...
सूरज सितारे चाँद मेरे साथ मेँ रहे जब तक तुम्हारे हाथ मेरे हाथ में रहे शाख़ों से टूट जाये वो पत्ते नहीं हम आँधी से कोई कह दे कि औक़ात में रहे
सूखे होंटों पे ही होती हैं मीठी बातें प्यास जब बुझ जाये तो लहजे बदल जाते हैं .....!!
roti ussi ko milni chahiye jise uski bhook ho.
Aksar chirag wohi bhujate hai ... jo pehle usse rosan karte hai
Bimaar ke saath koi bimaar nahi ho jaata hai
Salo lag jate pyar wale jkham bharne mai.
Sun rha hai na tu ro rha hu main.
Teri yad satati hai…mujko rulati hai.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

GOOD NIGHT JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES GOOD NIGHT JOKES JOKES

N [::NIGHT TIPS::]
Raat ko soune se pehle 1 machhar ko...
Zaroor maar dia kren ta k....
Baqi machhar us k janaze pe chle jaye
Aur...
Ap maze se sou jaye...
GooD NighT!!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

GOOD NIGHT JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES GOOD NIGHT JOKES JOKES

Pankhe Pe Latka Huwa Sar
Khirki Se Tumhe Dekhti Atma
Bed K Niche Bethi Churail
Parde K Piche Sar Kati Lash...
..
..
In Sub Ki Taraf Dihan Mat Dena Aram Se Sona..
Gud Nite

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

SAAS-BAHU JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES JOKES SAAS-BAHU JOKES

Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya.
Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ????

Saturday, June 6, 2015

MARRIAGE JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES JOKES MARRIAGE JOKES

:::: Must read ::::

Husband & Wife - too good.....
Just tooo goood..

This is the best and most civil way to have a fight ....
Between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force...

Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed..
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far

HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you...!!!

Monday, May 4, 2015

MARRIAGE JOKES

ENGLISH JOKES JOKES MARRIAGE JOKES

Gharwaali ke taane jab
hudse bahaar hojaaye to
turant chappal uthake..
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Pehanle aur ghar se
bahaar nikal jaaye.
Beech mein aapne jo socha
woh sochke accha laga na...!!!